Slowing down this season helps your mind and body handle the holidays with more ease.
Hi, I’m Stevie, and I’m a somatic therapist and owner of Embodied Healing, a practice for trauma healing in Kansas City. I don’t know about you, but it feels as though all of a sudden the holidays are upon us, and I noticed myself starting to freak out a little bit.
As a mom, I am the “magic maker;” the one who organizes the trips to see Santa, the one who makes sure all of the fun cookies get made, the kids get matching pajamas, and everyone has the perfect gift. It is exhausting, and yet somehow I love this time of year.
Manage Holiday Stress with Titration
In somatic therapy, titration is something that we often use in order to be able to sustain ourselves through the work. Titration is the ability to come in and out of periods of higher intensity so that the body and mind can get some rest and be able to tolerate stress better. Listen to Dr. Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing, speak more about titration here.
A lot of people will wait until an outside force stops them from working. They wait until they’re sick, their boss kicks them out of the office, the next vacation they have planned, or their office is closed in order to take time to themselves. By the time they reach this point, they are often so exhausted that they spend the whole time recovering instead of truly nourishing and nurturing themselves.
When we titrate our stress, we are able to notice when we are reaching the limit of our tolerance and make a choice to take a break instead of an outside force doing it for us. This allows us to be able to sustain. This mean you may think about the following things for this upcoming holiday:
What do I have planned, and how close together are the activities?
What could I do less of to make more room for enjoyment?
What is an expectation of myself that I can let go of?
Support Your Body with Mindful Eating and Gentle Movement
Gentle, intentional movement helps signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to slow down.
Here is not the part of the blog where I tell you that you should really watch your sugar cookie intake during the holidays. This is where I tell you to bring in mindfulness about how your body is handling all of the things, like the stress you feel, the foods you eat, and the kind of movement you are able to do.
Eating intuitively is a huge part of what I would suggest in order to feel the best in your body. This certainly doesn’t mean eating anything and everything that you see because you “want” it, but really listening to how foods feel after you eat them and making sure you are having a healthy balance of all types of foods so that you can sustain healthy energy levels. Read more about how to intuitively eat here.
Finding gentle movement is a great way to be embodied and release some stress during the holiday season. While things can get busy, ask yourself what time you can afford to spend on a bit of movement that you genuinely enjoy. Kansas City has so much to offer in terms of workout classes, from pilates at Studio 7 or yoga at True Love. Finding slow and intentional movement can also help send the nervous system some signals that things are all okay, helping you to titrate your stress.
Here are some other accessible ways to feel more present in your body during the holidays:
Try using a sunlamp in the mornings to set your circadian rhythm.
Get outside as often as possible.
Listen to music that gets you up and dancing!
Take a breathwork class.
Give your pets extra love and cuddles.
Create wind down rituals in the evenings.
Set Healthy Boundaries During the Holidays
Boundaries often get a bad wrap because they are over-utilized and a part of the rise of therapy speak. Honestly, as a therapist I roll my eyes a little bit when the word boundaries are mentioned because I’m not always sure what that other person necessarily means.
Boundaries are not:
Ways to cut people out of your life.
Telling somebody what they can or cannot do.
Meant to silo you away from your community.
Always necessary to say out loud.
Boundaries are:
What you will say and do.
Meant to protect relationships.
Should help you maintain energy.
A response to harm or potential harm.
At times, internal deals that you make with yourself.
Here are some tips for setting boundaries:
Come up with a code word with your friend or partner.
If you are at a party, for example, and something is making you feel physically or psychologically unsafe, say the word to the other person and get out of there as soon as possible.
Write an email or letter.
Sometimes it can be really hard for people who are more prone to crying, anger, or introversion to say what they really mean when face to face with somebody else. This doesn’t mean that you will never have a conversation with the other person en vivo, but being able to fully express yourself is important.
Journal about it beforehand.
Research suggests that journaling has a myriad of positive benefits for the mood and overall health, and it can also be a great way of understanding just how one is feeling in order to make better decisions for the future. You might journal about why you are thinking about setting a certain boundary either with somebody or with yourself, and how it makes you feel to think about both setting it and not setting it. As a somatic therapist, I would be remiss to not ask you to think about where you feel any activation in your body and also let that guide you!
Talk to a therapist about it.
Sometimes journaling just isn’t enough and it can be really intense to think about changing the way you interact with somebody else. There can be a lot of confusing threat responses that you might have both physically and psychologically to the idea. Talking to a therapist can really help you understand yourself better and feel more regulated when communicating your needs to others. Embodied healing is here to help you!
Practice Mindfulness and Intention During the Holidays
The whole purpose of this time of year is to enjoy it. Set this (or some form of this) as an intention and contemplate this from time to time. In moments of stress, see if you can gently come back to this intention and notice how you might want to shift things around to make enjoyment more possible.
Mindfulness practices can really help with slowing down and being more intentional during this season.
Here are some ways to practice mindfulness:
Progressive relaxation meditations
Journaling
Meditation
Walking
The Embodied Healing Team hopes that you all have safe, happy holidays and are here for you when you need a safe place to land and process.
Happy Healing!
Don't do it alone. Explore Somatic Therapy In Kansas City
Taking care of yourself through the holidays is always the right move. Whether it be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, or any mindfulness intervention, therapy is an essential tool for finding more ease this season.
Don't hesitate to reach out to one of our fabulous therapists in Kansas City today! Lauren and Kathryn are currently taking new clients.
Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Care During the Holidays
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Titration is the practice of moving in and out of periods of higher intensity so your body and mind can rest and better tolerate stress. During the holidays, titrating your stress means noticing when you’re nearing your limit and choosing to take a break before exhaustion forces you to.
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Intuitive eating and movement means tuning back into your body’s own cues, like hunger, fullness, and energy, instead of following a strict diet or exercise rule. During the holidays, that might look like enjoying the foods that are meaningful to you without guilt, and choosing movement that feels good rather than punishing.
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Healthy boundaries are the limits you set around your time, energy, and attention. They are not about shutting people out. During the holidays, boundaries protect your relationships and your energy so you can show up for the people and traditions that matter most to you.
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Decide ahead of time what you are and are not available for, and say so clearly and kindly. For example, you can let family know you will join dinner but leave by a certain time, or that you would rather not discuss a particular topic. You do not need to over-explain or justify your limits.
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Practices like progressive relaxation, yin yoga, journaling, meditation, and walking help bring your nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into a calmer state. Even five or ten minutes a day during the busiest weeks can help you feel more grounded and present with the people you love.
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If the holidays consistently leave you feeling depleted, overwhelmed, or dreading time with family, it may help to talk to a therapist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, and other mindfulness-based interventions are all effective tools for working through stress and anxiety, and our clinicians can help you get started.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
Practical, somatic-informed ways to care for your nervous system through the holidays, from titration and intuitive eating to boundaries and mindfulness, by a Kansas City therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.