How to Know Therapy Is Working: Small Changes That Signal Real Healing
When you are in trauma therapy, the importance of noticing progress and healing is essential.
One thing I find myself doing constantly as a therapist is having my clients slow down in order to take in the fact that they are saying something, doing something, or feeling something that is remarkably different from when they came in.
Every day I find myself asking my clients to bring attention to something that indicates they are making progress in therapy that they are completely missing. The importance of noticing progress is essential; it helps give feedback to the system to keep doing it because it actually feels great. It also helps clients to maintain a sense of hope that all of their efforts are not in vain.
If you’re in trauma therapy, somatic therapy, or EMDR therapy in Kansas City (or anywhere), these small shifts can be some of the most meaningful signs that healing is happening. Here are some of the themes I see that I think might be helpful for you to reflect on as well:
1) You’re Slowing Down (A Sign Your Nervous System Is Healing)
The ability to slow down is essential for nervous system healing. Chronic stress and anxiety create a sense of urgency within people. Clients will find themselves doing things like:
Feeling the need to respond quickly to emails or texts
Doing normal things as fast as possible for no reason
Walking quickly
Piling things into their day that cannot be reasonably done
Feeling irritated
Having too many “tabs” open in their brain
Note: some of these things could be symptoms of other things, like*ADHD.*
When people feel more safe in their bodies, and learn that there is actually no tiger hunting them for sport, they are able to slow down. In biological terms, they are able to move out of fight or flight (sympathetic nervous system) and into their ventral vagal state (parasympathetic nervous system). This allows them to be more present, more focused, and decrease some of those physical symptoms associated with stress and anxiety.
If this resonates, you may also like our post: How to Relax Your Nervous System: Quick and Easy Techniques.
2) You Honor Your Impulses in Small Ways & Building Self-Trust
A lot of my clients don’t realize that they are creating a sense of safety and self-trust as they honor their basic impulses, especially if they had difficulty doing this before they started treatment.
Somatic Experiencing teaches us that, with trauma, there is often a loop that doesn’t get to close. There is a self-protective response that didn't happen (think: fight, flight, or freeze) at various moments in their trauma story. Part of the somatic therapy journey is increasing a person’s ability to have interoceptive awareness so that they can even know what their body needs.
People might find themselves going to the bathroom when they need to instead of holding it, or getting up from their desk to take a much needed break. They might find themselves saying “hold on, I need to go change my clothes really quick” instead of being uncomfortable at somebody else’s expense. Noticing this progress is so important!
3) Your Relationships Are Improving & Connection Can Feel Safer
One sign you might be healing from trauma is that your relationships are improving and you are feeling more connected to others.
When a person is chronically in fight, flight, or freeze, they have difficulty with relationships because connection requires a sense of presence and safety from people. My clients might start to say something like “hey, I went to that concert I was talking you about with my friends last week,” or “I had a great date night with my partner for once!”
Especially if you have had issues in the past with feeling connected to others due to your trauma (and not due to any other cause, such as autism), this is a great sign that you are making progress in your nervous system work!
For a deeper dive on how trauma patterns can show up in relationships, you may find this helpful: Common Trauma Patterns in Relationships (and How to Heal Them).
4) You Have New Goals & Your Brain Has More Bandwidth for the Future
When we are living in chronic stress or feel like we are experiencing a perpetual trauma response, we are essentially being dragged around by our amygdala. The amygdala is the fear center of the brain which gets over sensitive after being traumatized; it keeps signaling danger when there is none.
When the amygdala is really active, it is hard to be in the part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) that is responsible for planning and problem solving (aka, dreaming about your future). This is why, when somebody tells me that they are excited about going back to school, starting new hobbies, or feeling excited about writing a book I pause and really have them take that in. This is honestly huge success!
In trauma therapy, a common marker of progress is increased “window of tolerance” (more capacity for life without going into overwhelm). For more context on regulation, see: Regulating Your Nervous System: What It Means and How to Do It.
5) Body-Based Signs of Healing: Your Appetite and Sleep Are Getting Better
Chronic stress and trauma increase the allostatic load on the body, meaning that it causes wear and tear on the body over time. Part of the wear and tear is in the reduced and/or increased appetite, as well as changes in sleeping patterns (most often not sleeping enough). Sleep and appetite are two great measures of progress in therapy, and are most often overlooked. It is like when somebody is congested, they really notice it, but when they are no longer congested they don’t bring awareness to it. This is why, as a therapist, I make sure to ask about these markers of progress.
If you’re trying to figure out whether it’s “just anxiety” or more about dysregulation, this may help: Is It Anxiety or Nervous System Dysregulation? Here’s How to Tell the Difference.
My Advice: Be Mindful of Small Changes and Track Them
If you are having difficulty noticing or even knowing where to look, ask your therapist. You can also keep a simple note on your phone for “signs therapy is working,” so you can spot patterns over time.
Need support? We offer trauma-informed therapy in Kansas City, including Somatic Therapy, EMDR, and talk therapy. Explore our services or schedule a consultation.
Start Your Trauma Healing Journey With Somatic Therapy
At Embodied Healing KC, our trauma-informed therapists guide you with compassion and skill, helping you safely process emotions and build resilience. If you are ready to start healing from trauma and would like some support, reach out! Trauma-informed therapist Lauren Bradley has immediate openings and is ready to help you on your journey.
Frequently Asked Questions About Healing From Trauma
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Common signs therapy is working include increased nervous system regulation (less urgency and reactivity), improved relationships, better sleep, and more self-compassion. Progress is often subtle before it feels “big.”
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It depends on your goals, history, and the therapy approach. Some people notice small shifts in weeks, while deeper trauma healing may take longer. Consistency, safety, and fit with your therapist matter.
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Yes. Trauma-informed therapy can help reduce anxiety and chronic stress by working with both thought patterns and the nervous system. Body-based approaches often help when symptoms feel “stuck.”
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You may notice you can slow down, feel less on edge, recover faster after stress, sleep better, or feel more present in relationships. These are often signs of improved regulation.
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Neither is universally “better.” EMDR and somatic therapy can both be highly effective. Many people benefit from a blended, paced approach that fits their nervous system and readiness.
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This is common, especially in trauma work. Bring it to your therapist. Sometimes progress is happening under the surface, or you may need a shift in goals, pacing, or modality.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
