How to Make the Most Out of Your Therapy Session: A Guide to Deepening Your Healing Work
Wondering how to make the most out of your therapy sessions? Therapy is an investment of time, money, and emotional energy. So many clients want to make sure they are getting the most out of each therapy session, therefore getting the most “bang for their buck.” After being a therapist for over a decade, I believe I have some great tips for therapy.
Start with Intention: Why Goal-Setting Improves Therapy Results
Sure, intention applies to each therapy session, but I want to first focus on your very first therapy session with a new therapist. Take some time to think about why you are wanting therapy, and what specifically you want to get out of it. What do you want to feel different about?
After setting some of these goals with your therapist, you will be able to have a more focused lens in the future. Being able to come back to the same topic(s) over and over is very helpful because it guides the treatment and helps progress be more measurable.
From session to session, it is helpful for clients to think about their time in between therapy sessions and reflect on how the content in session has impacted that time. It is always helpful as a therapist to hear about what is sticking out for my clients, where they find themselves struggling, and how the issue at hand has revealed itself since we last met.
Therapy Tip: Set specific goals for your therapy sessions. In-between sessions, reflect on how your last therapy session has impacted you.
Be Clear About What You Want to Work On in Therapy
Being clear about what you want to work on during your therapy session is important. It can be easy to get sidetracked, talking about all of the things that are interesting and possibly fun to talk about with your therapist. Don’t get me wrong, this is a vital part of settling into the therapy session and creating rapport with your therapist, and I absolutely love this time with all of my clients because I get to know more about their daily lives and their personalities. However, it is good to remember that the session only lasts so many minutes and we want to get some good work done as well. It isn’t rude to say something like “okay that’s enough of that, I don’t want to waste my whole session on that stuff” – I actually appreciate that.
Therapy Tip: Be direct about what you want to talk about in your therapy session so you don’t get side-tracked.
Create a Safe and Honest Therapy Space for Deeper Healing
You only get out of therapy what you are willing to put in. Not being completely honest in your therapy session only hurts you, not the therapist. Let me be clear: it is absolutely okay to not be ready to discuss certain things, and this should always be respected in the therapy space.
You would be shocked by how many people I see whose partners are also in therapy, and my client reports something like “yeah, they told me that their therapist said they were done with therapy because there was nothing more to work on” when in fact, there are plenty of things that my client and I know they could be working on. The therapist is most likely saying this in complete honesty, most likely because they aren’t fully showing up to therapy in the way that they could.
Feeling hesitant is okay, and feeling uncomfortable is okay. All good therapists will create an abundance of choice and safety each session so that the client feels supported enough to tolerate the discomfort. Safety is co-created, ever-evolving, and grows over time. Therefore, if baring your soul the first few sessions isn’t accessible to you, know that that is completely normal.
Therapy Tip: Be honest in your therapy sessions, but know that it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share everything right away.
Bring the Body Into the Room: How Somatic Awareness Enhances Therapy
Trauma and stress live in the body, not just the mind. We forget sometimes that we aren’t just brains walking around on two legs, relating to the world solely through our intellect. We miss out on gathering so much information and so much growth when we leave the body out of it.
As a client, being willing to bring the body in looks like being open to feeling silly and exploring your subjective experience of what it is like to feel. It looks like being willing to say things that your therapist can’t say “yes, that is exactly how it should go” because they aren’t in your body. It is being willing to follow impulses that may or may not make sense to you. It is being willing to be quiet and have your therapist with you in a different way, without words.
You will be surprised how much opens up to you when you bring the body in.
With my clients, I implement this through Somatic Experiencing. Learn More About Somatic Experiencing >
Therapy Tip: Explore what it looks like to bring the body into therapy work through Somatic Experiencing.
Be Willing to Slow Down Because Trauma Work Requires It
When doing any trauma work, the power of slowing down is not to be missed. With interventions like EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, slowing down allows the client to get all of the information possible.
Benefits of Slowing Down In Therapy
Slowing down allows for the client to have access to:
Sensation
Images
Movement
Meaning
Affect
Emotional experience
The temptation to rush through and start explaining away things speaks to the amount of discomfort the person is feeling. Being able to name this with your therapist is so important – it allows them to meet you where you are and have an open discussion about what would make it feel more safe to slow down. Slowing down also leaves more time and space for integration.
Therapy Tip: When doing trauma work specifically, it is important to slow down and be thorough.
Make Space for Integration Between Therapy Sessions
You live your life outside of therapy sessions. If you have a therapy session one time a week per month, that is only .5% of your life you are spending with your therapist. To find out what is working and where you are struggling with the work you are trying to do in therapy, integrating your therapy into your daily life is key. Don’t waste the hour deeply working if you are only going to think about it for that hour!
Here are some ways to integrate your therapy work into daily life:
Somatic check-ins
Journaling
Walking, biking, or swimming while thinking about the session (bilateral stimulation helps the brain to process)
Talking with a loved one about what you are doing in therapy
One of the biggest things you can do is to simply notice. Notice how often your nervous system is going into a survival response versus staying in a calm, connected state. Notice if boundaries are coming easier to you or if self-talk is trending towards the positive. Noticing the integration of therapeutic concepts helps clients to feel the benefits of their hard work!
Therapy Tip: Find ways to integrate your takeaways from therapy into your everyday life.
Speak Up in Therapy: Why Client Feedback Matters
Self-advocacy is hard for a lot of people, but in a therapy session is the best place to try something new! I always want to empower my clients to say if they’re feeling stuck, unsure, or disconnected. This may mean that there can be an easy fix to make therapy feel incredible for you! All therapeutic experiences should be collaborative, and a good therapist will welcome feedback. All clients should feel seen, heard, and understood.
Therapy Tip: Therapy is collaborative, so give feedback to your therapist during your therapy session.
Trust the Process and Let Go of Perfection in Your Healing Journey
Therapy isn’t about being perfect or “doing it right.” It can feel challenging when your progress isn’t linear and you are dealing more with your inner experience than ever before. This requires a certain level of trust not only in the therapist but in the therapeutic process. Don’t hesitate to ask questions like “have any of your other clients dealt with this feeling?” or naming the doubt in and of itself. Create some good mantras to help you with your therapist.
Therapy Mantras
“Going to therapy is how I show up for myself.”
“I have patience with myself.”
“I give myself permission to not have to get it right.”
“I am healing for myself and the generations that come after me.”
Therapy Tip: Stay positive and remember that you don’t have to be perfect.
Ready to Start Therapy? Let Us Support Your Next Steps
The wonderful team at Embodied Healing is accepting clients! Lauren Bradley has immediate availability and will be able to help you create a safe, warm, and inviting environment to thrive in. We offer free phone consultations and are happy to answer any of your questions over email. We look forward to hearing from you!
Start Your Healing Journey Now
Frequently Asked Questions About Making The Most Of Your Therapy Sessions
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Set intentions before each session, be honest with your therapist, and reflect on how therapy impacts your daily life. Integration between sessions is key.
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Focus on the issues that feel most pressing or relevant. It helps to revisit ongoing themes and set small goals. Clarity and emotional safety matter more than perfection.
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Slowing down allows the nervous system to process sensations, emotions, and memories. It’s especially important in EMDR or somatic therapy where integration is essential.
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Try journaling, somatic check-ins, or walking meditations. Pay attention to emotional responses, nervous system states, and how therapy insights show up in real life.
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Yes! Therapy is a collaborative process. Sharing what feels off allows your therapist to adjust and ensures your needs are being met in the safest way possible.
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Bringing the body into therapy helps identify stored trauma, emotional responses, and intuitive signals. Somatic techniques deepen healing beyond talk therapy alone.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
