Finding Calm During the Holidays in Kansas City: A Therapist’s Guide
The holidays can leave you feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overspent.
It is getting to be that time again, folks. Some love it, some would rather hide in a hole and wait to come out until the new year starts. Kansas City is such a special place to spend the holidays and with all of the hustle and bustle it can be quite stressful. Going to the plaza lights, ice skating at Crown Center, and your yearly visit to the Kansas City Ballet for the Nutcracker are all amazing things to look forward to, but the holidays can leave you feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overspent.
As a trauma-informed therapist, it is my job to help people be aware of their stress levels so that they can choose differently and experience life differently. The holiday season is no different. Let’s explore how to find peace, stay embodied, and navigate stress during the holiday season in Kansas City from a somatic therapy lens.
Why the Holidays Can Be Challenging in Kansas City
The Mental and Emotional Load of the Holiday Season
I’m sure it is no mystery to most people why the holidays can be stressful. However, I find that most people don’t really sit and reflect on all of the things they are experiencing in a short amount of time that can cause holiday stress. It is important to give yourself (and your system) some credit for all that it is holding.
Here is a list of common holiday stressors:
The financial burden of purchasing gifts for the holidays can be a big cause of holiday stress.
Financial stress from gift giving, travel, and end of year property taxes
Finding time off work for the holidays
The stress over whether to travel or stay home
Kids being out of school for winter break and finding care for them
The pressure to make holiday magic
The actual labor of gift wrapping, cooking, and decorating
Navigating tough family dynamics
Being at parties and feeling overstimulated
Eating more fun foods which might not help with mood and energy levels
Trying to maintain some sort of routine for self care
Unpredictable Kansas City weather
Less sunlight
…need I say more?
How the Nervous System Reacts to Holiday Stress
The nervous system starts to react to holiday stress by having more increased activation, adrenal responses, and, if it is taxing enough, a freeze response.
The holidays just bring so many “shoulds.” And when there is a perceived lack of choice, our mental health is bound to be affected.
Looking At Holiday Stress Through A Somatic Lens
I say this all of the time to my clients in session – the body tells what sometimes the mind cannot. Our body’s responses to holiday stress are so important to listen to because they can sometimes hold the key to what we need to regulate ourselves.
To learn more about how trauma is stored in the body, click here.
How to Recognize When You’re in Fight, Flight, or Freeze From Holiday Stress
When you experience stress during the holidays, your body might go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. To learn more about fight, flight, or freeze, click here.
What are some signs my body is in fight or flight mode?
Chest tightness
Not breathing deeply enough
Headaches
Nausea
What are some signs my body is in freeze mode?
Fatigue
Feeling like you’re zoning out
Constipation
Brain fog
These are not exhaustive lists by any means, but are a good place to start. You can read more about the signs of fight, flight, and freeze mode here.
Journaling is a great way to regulate your nervous system and process your feelings about holiday stress.
Gentle Ways to Regulate and Reconnect
If you’re wondering where you are in your nervous system, try doing a body scan to take inventory of all of your sensations. After doing that, you could also try journaling about how you are feeling about the holidays. Try using some journaling prompts if you are feeling lost.
Therapist-Recommended Ways to Stay Grounded During The Holidays
Now comes the time to start trying to take care of yourself in small, intentional ways.
How Can I Regulate My Nervous System If I Am In Fight Or Flight Mode?
If you are feeling like you are more in your sympathetic nervous system (having a fight or flight response; feeling more activated), try the following.
Mindfulness meditation
Going on a slow walk
Getting a massage
Take a yoga class from one of the many studios in Kansas City
Sit in an infrared sauna; the Yoga Patch has great ones
Try out some herbal teas at the Tea Market (and swap it out for your morning coffee!)
How Can I Regulate My Nervous System If I Am In Freeze Mode?
If you are feeling stressed this holiday season, try spending time at the Overland Park Arboretum. Image: Overland Park Arboretum
If you are feeling more frozen, zoned out, and lethargic, try:
Meeting a friend at the Overland Park Arboretum for a zippy walk in the cold air
Try something new and novel, like rock climbing at RoKC
Get involved at a local charity, like Harvesters Kansas City
Start something creative, like knitting, painting, or dancing
Engage your senses; sensory feedback helps you to feel more embodied
Things to Remember for During The Holiday Season
Maintain Boundaries
Saying no is okay, and saying yes to new things as well is alright. If you need to break a holiday tradition that simply is causing too much stress, then you are free to do that.
Try having this conversation with your loved ones ahead of time. Say something like, “Hey, I know that last year I hosted cookie baking at my house, but I don’t think I can do it this year. Can we either skip it or do it at yours?”
Keep a Routine
I know this one is hard, especially if you have kids. But, try to maintain some semblance of a routine during the holiday season. Even if some parts are off, can you still make movement a part of every day? Can you be sure to eat a wholesome breakfast? Find your priorities and your non-negotiables and see if you can stick with that.
Plan Ahead
So much holiday stress can be avoided by not doing things last minute, which will definitely send even the most calm person into fight or flight mode.
Do you find yourself waiting to buy Christmas gifts at the last minute? Maybe this year, sit down (either by yourself or with your partner), and come up with a list of gifts that you are planning to purchase. That way, the decision is done and you can purchase the Christmas gifts at a rate that is comfortable for you and your wallet.
When Simple Self-Care Isn’t Enough, Therapy Can Help
It’s important to prioritize self-care during the holiday season to cope with holiday stress. If this season brings deeper emotions up, it may be helpful to explore these feelings with a therapist.
Why the Holidays Can Resurface Deeper Emotions
There are so many deeper emotions that the holiday season brings, such as grief and difficult family dynamics, which can be really hard to navigate on your own. These are deeper conversations that require deeper work. You can’t simply “self-care” your way out of these ones.
If you are finding yourself dreading the holiday season and wishing you could just hermit it away in your house, know that you are not alone. It can be helpful to fully explore this with a therapist so that you can feel confident moving into the holiday season with support and a plan.
Self-Care Is The Best Gift You Can Give
Know that saying “no” is always an option. That whatever you do this year doesn’t have to be your answer every year. Remember that what matters most to the people you love isn’t the labor that you provide for them to make the “holiday magic” happen, but that you are well. That is what your loved ones will really remember. So, take care of yourself. That’s the best gift you could give!
Happy Healing, and Happy Holidays!
Start Your Trauma Healing Journey With Somatic Therapy
At Embodied Healing KC, our trauma-informed therapists guide you with compassion and skill, helping you safely process emotions and build resilience. If you are ready to start healing from trauma and would like some support, reach out! Lauren Bradley has immediate openings and is ready to help you on your journey.
Frequently Asked Questions About Holiday Stress
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The holidays bring added demands like financial pressure, social gatherings, and family expectations that can easily overwhelm the nervous system. Recognizing your limits and giving yourself permission to rest can help reduce holiday stress.
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Somatic therapy helps calm the nervous system by connecting mind and body. Through mindfulness, breathwork, and gentle body awareness, you can reduce overwhelm and find grounded calm during the busy holiday season.
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Common signs include tension headaches, shallow breathing, fatigue, irritability, or zoning out. These are cues from your body that it’s time to slow down, rest, and regulate.
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Set small boundaries, take breaks to breathe or step outside, and remind yourself that you don’t need to engage in every conversation. Staying connected to your body helps you remain calm and centered.
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If you notice dread, isolation, or anxiety that makes it hard to function or enjoy the season, reaching out to a therapist can help. Therapy provides tools and perspective to manage overwhelm more effectively.
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Explore grounding activities like visiting the Overland Park Arboretum, practicing yoga, or trying mindfulness-based therapy. Local Kansas City resources and trauma-informed therapists can help you restore balance and peace.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
