Feeling Emotionally Numb? Here’s Why Trauma (and Chronic Stress) Might Be the Cause
Emotional numbness is a self-protective response, which can be caused by trauma or chronic stress.
Sometimes, when people are typically quite emotionally expressive and then suddenly seem to have very little access to their feelings, it can be scary. There are many reasons for this, including trauma.
If you have read any of my blogs before, you know that I have a wide definition of trauma (as taught to me by various training modalities, including Somatic Experiencing). It is important to include chronic stress in this definition of trauma, especially when it comes to emotional numbness.
I hope to provide a bit of a “why” for what could be happening if you find yourself emotionally numb, and some helpful tips to move through it in a safe and measured way.
If you are in the Kansas City area and looking for trauma therapy support, our team at Embodied Healing Collective offers body-based approaches like Somatic Experiencing® and EMDR.
Emotional numbness as a nervous system response (freeze + dissociation)
As it is the case with most seemingly automatic nervous system responses, emotional numbness is a self-protective response. It is a response to having too much happen in the psyche which overwhelms the whole system, forcing it to take a break. It is the body’s way of saying “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s chill now.”
Being emotionally numb is being in freeze, or dissociation. Dissociation is the detachment of one’s self from something else. This can be a very wide array of experiences and intensities. Some people might feel, on a more intense level, a disconnection from their surroundings or even from reality itself. In the most mild of cases, dissociation looks like “zoning out,” or daydreaming. All of us have experienced dissociation from time to time.
If you’re wondering whether your experience might also relate to trauma symptoms like PTSD, the National Institute of Mental Health offers a clear overview here: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.
Common signs of emotional numbness
Here are a few (but not all) signs of emotional numbness:
Difficulty getting excited about things
Feeling the urge to cry but it being “stuck”
Watching other people experience emotions and feeling like you're on the outside
Flat affect
Sense of apathy
A note on fight and flight (and why freeze can follow)
If we have experienced a trauma, such as grief or an incredibly frightening event, the nervous system can be even more touchy. This means that fight and flight become more of a “landing place” than we might find comfortable. The fight and flight responses are (usually) the traumatized nervous system’s first line of defense. It is an active response to a threat.
Now, if there is an ongoing threat, such as a really high demand work environment, caregiving beyond one’s capacity, or stress in a relationship, the nervous system will respond the same. It will be in fight or flight a lot of the time.
This creates a really high allostatic load on the body, mind, and spirit. Allostatic load, essentially, is the wear and tear on the body created by long periods of chronic stress.
If you are curious to learn more about how trauma causes us to be in fight, flight, and freeze, read my blog on it here.
What are the Symptoms of Having a High Allostatic Load?
Here are some symptoms of having a high allostatic load. This is not an exhaustive list, and it is always important to get a differential diagnosis.
High blood pressure
Blood sugar fluctuations
Fatigue
Insomnia
Difficulty concentrating
Withdrawal
Appetite changes
After a while of bearing this load, the body and mind will tap out, leading to dissociation, or emotional numbness.
Related Reads On Nervous System Regulation:
Regulating Your Nervous System: What It Means and How to Do It: https://www.embodiedhealingkc.com/blog/regulating-your-nervous-system-what-it-means-and-how-to-do-it
Is it Anxiety or Nervous System Dysregulation?: https://www.embodiedhealingkc.com/blog/is-it-anxiety-or-nervous-system-dysregulation
Are Repressed Emotions Making You Sick? The Mind-Body Connection: https://www.embodiedhealingkc.com/blog/are-repressed-emotions-making-you-sick-the-mind-body-connection
Why “feeling nothing” can still be your body trying to protect you
Many people judge emotional numbness as “something is wrong with me.” In trauma-informed care, numbness is often a sign that your system is trying to keep you functioning when it feels like too much. The goal is not to force emotion, but to build safety and capacity so feeling can return gradually.
Tips for working through emotional numbness
Start With Joy
A lot of people find themselves working through their trauma and dealing with their chronic stress and wanting to go straight into that, thinking that it will help them to feel more, not putting together that it is the reason why they are numb in the first place.
The goal is to simply feel, so why not start with something that is naturally resourcing? A “resource” is something (image, thought, sensation, etc.) that is inherently calming and supportive for a person.
Here is an exercise to try:
Think of the last time you experienced joy or peace. What was happening? Where were you? Who were you with? Can you smell it, feel it, or taste it? Gather as many sensory details as you possibly can. Now do a body scan – do you feel that anywhere in your body? Stay with that sensation for a while. Now, can you feel it emotionally? What emotion is present? Stay with that, breathing deeply, as long as you can.
Reconnect to Sensation By Practicing Embodiment and Interoception
If you have tried the exercise above and found it helpful, then great! You have had an experience of embodiment. Embodiment is the deep connection between mind and body; the felt sense that your physical sensations and emotions are both acknowledged as important in the creation of your experiences.
Reconnection to the sensations of our body is in many ways the opposite of emotional numbness. Therefore, start by simply trying to feel sensations. Lie on a foam roller. How does it feel on your back, your legs, your arms? Is one better than the other? How do you know that? How does the pressure make you feel emotionally?
Introduce your senses to something novel, and ask yourself some of these open-ended questions. Sometimes it can be hard (especially if you’re new to interoception work) to identify the emotions connected to body sensations. That is okay. As I say to my clients all of the time, it is a beautiful thing to feel confused and to keep asking the question anyway. Be kind to yourself.
If we are around other people who love us, support us, and are generally calm in their bodies and minds, our nervous system can mirror that.
Seek Safe Connection and Nervous System Regulation
Again, emotional numbness, or dissociation, is a lack of connection to the self. Connection with other people or nature can help to find a pathway back to the self. Other people who are doing well emotionally can especially positively impact us.
Mirror neurons, or our body’s way of nonverbally communicating with somebody else, are huge helpers here. Therefore, if we are around another person who loves us, supports us, and is generally calm in their body and mind, we can find ourselves mirroring that as well. This is what happens when we are babies. We cannot regulate ourselves, and need caregivers to do that for us.
So, this is my plea to you to accept the invite to that game night or go to your weekly book club that you’ve been ignoring. We heal better in connection with others.
Consider Professional Support With Somatic Therapy or EMDR
I know, this one can feel scary, but hear me out. If you are having a hard time navigating all of this by yourself, please reach out to somebody who can help. Therapists (especially somatic trauma therapists) are trained in helping people come back into their bodies and find connection to their emotions again in a safe way.
If you are one of the people who are afraid that once they start to feel, the emotions will completely take them under, then therapy is probably for you.
If you’d like more support, you can explore more resources in our blog hub, or explore our services to learn more about trauma-informed therapy.
Start Your Trauma Healing Journey With Somatic Therapy
At Embodied Healing KC, our trauma-informed therapists guide you with compassion and skill, helping you safely process emotions and build resilience. If you are ready to start healing from trauma and would like some support, reach out! Trauma-informed therapist Lauren Bradley has immediate openings and is ready to help you on your journey.
Frequently Asked Questions About Emotional Numbness
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Emotional numbness can be a protective nervous system response to overwhelming stress or trauma. It often shows up when the body shifts into a freeze state and emotional experience becomes muted to reduce overload.
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It can be. Dissociation is a form of disconnection that can range from zoning out to feeling detached from the self or surroundings. Emotional numbness is a common dissociation experience for many people.
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Freeze can look like shutdown, low energy, disconnection, difficulty initiating tasks, and feeling emotionally “flat.” It is often paired with a sense of being stuck, even when you want to move forward.
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Yes. Ongoing high stress can increase allostatic load, which may eventually lead to shutdown or numbness as your system tries to conserve energy and cope with prolonged activation.
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Start small and gentle. Try a grounding exercise, notice one neutral body sensation, or connect with a safe person. Many people find it helps to begin with resourcing rather than pushing for big emotions.
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Somatic therapy can help by supporting nervous system regulation and rebuilding a sense of safety in the body. Over time, that can make it easier for emotions and sensations to return without overwhelm.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
