Thinking About Quitting Therapy? Here's What to Do Instead
“Should I quit therapy? How do I talk to my therapist about quitting therapy? What are alternatives to quitting therapy?”
At some point during your therapy journey, you might consider quitting. First and foremost, I want to acknowledge that the desire to quit or pause therapy is completely normal, and any good therapist will absolutely honor your choice to quit no matter what it is. Therapy is hard; it requires a lot of time and emotional energy and sometimes you might feel like you are backsliding. I hope this helps you to clarify what you need and want to do with your therapeutic journey moving forward.
Common Reasons People Want to Quit Therapy
Feeling Stuck or Making Slow Progress
People feel like quitting therapy for many reasons, but one of them is feeling like you are stuck or that the progress of healing is too slow. There are a lot of reasons why this could be, but speaking with your therapist about it is important. You never know if there is something that can be tweaked in session to help take it up a notch – as a therapist, I always appreciate these conversations because it helps me know how to help my clients best!
Emotional Discomfort or Surfacing Memories
Discomfort with painful emotions or memories surfacing is another common thing I see as a therapist. Sometimes, I will have clients who do not tell me this is happening and therefore I am not able to support them in the way that I would like. Letting your therapist know that this is happening is essential – it allows for us as therapists to help pull back and build more safety for you. It also helps us know if there is something that we should keep off limits for a bit.
Life Interruptions and Scheduling Conflicts
Life. Life gets in the way. As a person who is in therapy, I totally get it when my clients pull back because I do this sometimes as well with my own therapist. Travel, kids being out of school, busy work schedules all get in the way. It is okay if pausing therapy for a bit until life feels more manageable feels best.
Experiencing fear of change
Sometimes there is a pressure people put on themselves to change behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs immediately because it is what they said that they wanted. There is no pressure from the therapist to do this; we want to make sure that you get to explore why these changes are scary. That is a part of the process too!
Therapist Disconnection
Some people will experience a disconnect with their therapist. This is one of the things that is hardest for clients and therapists to move through, as it is most often not brought up in the therapy space.
This is a bit controversial for me to say, but if you are not ready to talk about that with your therapist and you also feel like you cannot continue with therapy because of this, you don’t have to tell your therapist. You don’t owe us anything; it is our job to support you. Being this assertive can be really hard and if you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready. The progress you make in therapy is directly correlated to the connection you have with your therapist, so that relationship has to be a priority.
Therapist Tip: Talk to Your Therapist About Your Progress and Goals
Healing isn’t linear (annoying, but true). It is important to communicate your goals and understand what making progress might look like in different therapy modalities.
How Progress Can Look in Different Therapy Modalities
EMDR
You will find that EMDR can be a pretty straightforward way of trauma healing, but that there might be unexpected detours. Because EMDR uses bilateral stimulation helps the brain to process difficult information and it can often feel like a stream of consciousness when connections are being made, there can be some “side quests” with this type of work. You shouldn’t get too lost in the weeds with other pieces of content that come up, but it might bring up some more things that should be worked on. This is good. This is normal!
Somatic Therapy (Somatic Experiencing)
Your progress here will start out very subtle. You will find that your window of tolerance is being expanded and that you can tolerate more stress than you used to. (Learn more about what your window of tolerance means here.) You will be able to handle more and more difficult emotional content in session which is huge progress. The thing you thought you could never ever talk about without falling apart now seems accessible and not overwhelming.
Leaving somatic work too soon can be difficult for clients because they are on the cusp of trauma healing that will ultimately help their nervous system be more at rest than ever before. Some might become wary due to the nature of somatic therapy and the way it can bring up unexpected emotional content. However, with your therapist, you should be able to create an abundance of choice and safety around what you talk about.
Talk Therapy
Sometimes the hardest part of talk therapy comes right before a trauma healing breakthrough. It is normal to feel frustrated at times when you feel like there are some sessions where you have massive breakthroughs and others feel more life a soft landing place to process how you are feeling and implement some skills.
Alternatives to Quitting Therapy
Name the Feeling For Yourself
Acknowledge for yourself what is coming up emotionally about the therapeutic process. Understand that all feelings are welcome and that they need to be recognized and respected.
Acknowledge Your Feelings With Your Therapist
Talk to your therapist about how you are feeling. I promise, you won’t surprise them and they will be ready and willing to help you process your emotions about quitting therapy in order to get you the progress you came in for.
Revisit Your Therapy Goals
A lot of the time it can be super helpful to go back to the first couple of sessions with your therapist to reflect on what progress you have made, and recenter your therapy around some goals that feel meaningful to you now. Sometimes, client’s ideas about what they want to work on change and the therapist isn’t necessarily privy to it.
Take a Short Break From Therapy
Sometimes a short break can provide clarity without quitting therapy altogether. Let your therapist know that you want a pause! I have had clients pause for a year before and come back when they are ready. Like I said before, therapy takes a lot of energy. Honor that!
Adjust Your Approach To Therapy
Talk to your therapist about changing things up. Is there a therapy modality that you know they are trained in that you really want to try? Have you felt some resistance to talking about a certain topic, but now feel ready and scared at the same time?
When Quitting Therapy Might Be the Right Choice
You’ve Met Your Therapy Goals
It might be time to quit therapy if you feel like you have made progress and reached your goals. You feel good most days and know what tools and skills to use if you don’t. This is great! You did what you sought out to do.
The Therapeutic Relationship Doesn’t Feel Safe
You must quit therapy if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable with your therapist. If safety and connection aren’t there, therapy and trauma healing can’t happen. It is okay to leave; you deserve to feel fully supported in the therapy space. Trust your gut!
You’re Ready for a New Therapy Modality
You might also consider quitting therapy if you feel as though the approaches your therapist uses have taken you as far as you can go, and you feel ready to try another approach. Sometimes getting another person’s perspective can really help move things along.
Final Thoughts on Navigating the Desire to Quit Therapy
Listen, it is incredibly brave to start therapy, and especially brave to continue when the journey feels tough. Therapy isn’t about perfection or a straight shot right towards the goal, but about self-discovery, self-compassion, and learning to be with yourself and your emotions.
If you feel safe to do so, talk to your therapist about the feelings you are having. More often than not, they have some good ideas up their sleeve about how to switch things up in order to keep progress flowing. In the end, it is important to slow down, listen to yourself, and trust your inner wisdom. Happy healing!
Journal Prompt: “Am I Ready to Quit Therapy or Am I Just Uncomfortable?”
Sit down in a safe space, get a pen and paper, and connect to the feelings that come up when you think about your therapy process.
Ask yourself these questions about quitting therapy:
Do I feel a connection with my therapist? How do I notice this?
What is the most difficult thing about therapy right now?
If I were to stick with therapy, what would I want to happen?
How can I advocate for myself?
How am I defining progress in therapy? How does my therapist define it?
If I were to quit therapy now, how would it feel?
What is keeping me from bringing this up with my therapist?
After reflecting on some of these questions, I hope you have some clarity around what you would like to do or advocate for in order to support yourself!
Start Your Healing Journey Now
Frequently Asked Questions About Quitting Therapy
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People often want to quit therapy due to feeling stuck, overwhelmed by emotions, or disconnected from their therapist. Life disruptions and fear of change can also play a role.
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Progress may look subtle—such as handling stress better, talking about difficult topics, or noticing emotional regulation. Reflect on your initial goals and talk with your therapist about how you define growth.
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Yes. Pausing therapy can offer clarity and help you return with renewed energy. Just be honest with your therapist so they can help you pause intentionally and resume smoothly when you're ready.
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If you feel safe, it's helpful to talk about your feelings with your therapist. They can support your reflection process or adjust the approach if something isn’t working. But if you’re not ready, that’s okay too.
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Review your initial therapy intentions and reflect on what’s changed. You and your therapist can realign your sessions with your current needs and adjust goals if they’ve evolved.
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It might be the right choice if you’ve met your goals, don’t feel safe or supported, or feel another therapist or method would serve you better. Trust your instincts—they matter in this process.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
