4 Hidden Signs of Unresolved Trauma (And How to Start Healing)
Surprising Signs of Unresolved Trauma You Might Be Ignoring
So many people are walking around with unresolved trauma without even realizing it, and thinking it is just a normal part of life. I find it fascinating that there are a lot of instances in which I start working with an individual who may or may not be coming in to work with me for trauma, and then find out they are having trauma symptoms and indeed a traumatic event or events in their past.
The trauma symptoms some people are dealing with aren’t “just stress” or “just because they’re overly sensitive,” but sneaky ways in which their nervous systems are continuously responding to trauma. Therefore, I thought it would be helpful to explore some signs of unresolved trauma that people often miss and provide some hope that these are trauma symptoms that can be treated and resolved, not just tolerated forever.
You Overreact to Small Things (and Then Feel Embarrassed)
Do you ever find yourself responding to things in ways that you don’t quite understand? Do others feel confused by your reactions, giving you the feedback that you are being dramatic? This is a common feature of unprocessed trauma that goes unnoticed. I don’t particularly love this phrase, but feel like it encapsulates this well – “If it is hysterical, it is historical.” By that, I mean that if the reaction feels like it doesn’t fit the situation, there could be unresolved trauma that needs to be explored.
People can “overreact” to things because their brain is registering danger from a situation that they are unaware of. This very old part of our brain is in charge of detecting signs of danger, and it generalizes, meaning that anything that feels like/looks like/smells like/tastes like the original trauma will get categorized as a threat. Therefore, it is important to renegotiate the trauma in therapy so that the reactions that feel confusing can stop.
2. You Struggle to Feel Fully Present
The word “dissociation” is all the rage right now. We are hearing it used outside of the therapy space and in the culture at large, but it can show up in ways that people might often miss. Dissociation isn’t just completely losing chunks of time or looking into the mirror and feeling like you don’t know the person reflected back at you. Dissociation can also feel like being zoned out, dulled, disconnected, or numb.
People dissociate because things are too much or too overwhelming. If a person has experienced a trauma in which the best survival strategy was to mentally leave, dissociation might be the continued survival strategy even when things are calm. That is one of the biggest things trauma takes from us – the ability to be present even in the good moments. Don’t lose hope though; trauma healing treatment can completely change this.
Symptoms of Dissociation Due to Trauma
Difficulty feeling joy even when you know that’s how you typically would be feeling
People telling you that it looked like you just “went somewhere else”
Getting lost in parts of conversations with people, feeling confused about what they are saying now
Difficulty focusing/brain fog
Low desire to engage in activities that would normally excite you
Desire to zone out by watching TV or scrolling social media
These could be signs that you are dissociating and could benefit from somatic therapy.
Quick Trauma Healing Tip:
Find out your triggers. What are common scenarios that send you into a dissociated freeze? What do you feel right before you zone out? Finding a good way to cope with that precursory feeling will help reduce the amount of times your nervous system feels the need to have you dissociate.
3. You Have Chronic Unexplained Tension or Pain
To quote Bessel Van der Kolk, the body definitely keeps the score. Even if in our consciousness we don’t think we are dealing with trauma, our bodies are definitely letting us know that the trauma did, in fact, happen.
Common physiological symptoms of trauma are:
Jaw pain
Headaches
Pelvic floor pain
Stomach aches and digestive difficulties
Global aches/pains
Constricted breathing
This list is not exhaustive and I do want to emphasize that it is important to speak to a doctor about these symptoms before pursuing trauma therapy. The body, when it goes into fight/flight/freeze and doesn’t ever fully understand that it is safe again, will present tension and pain patterns associated with these various states. That is why leaving the body out of the healing process means that we don’t capture a large part of the story that the intellect has forgotten. It gives us clues about what happened and what needs to happen in order to heal.
Quick Trauma Healing Tip:
If some of these symptoms describe you and your doctors are at a loss for words or perhaps have even told you they are caused by anxiety, reach out to a somatic therapist! Don’t ignore those symptoms or think that they are just a part of life from now on.
4. You Have a Loud Inner Critic
That inner voice that whispers, “Don’t be dramatic” or “You should’ve gotten over this by now”? It might not be yours. More than likely, it is a narrative that has been caused by trauma, depression, or anxiety.
This overly critical voice usually hints at the possibility that a person has experienced relational or developmental trauma where emotions were not only not welcome, but punished. Over time, the voice used by the abuser becomes the voice used by the individual. The way the abuser maintained power and control was by making that person think and feel that they are less than, undeserving, and powerless. Trauma persists when these narratives persist.
Quick Trauma Healing Tip:
Trauma-informed therapy helps to rewrite harmful narratives and help the person not only know intellectually that those statements aren’t true, but believe them body, mind, and spirit.
The Bottom Line: You’re Not Broken
Western psychology has the unfortunate tendency to pathologize a lot of normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. The symptoms of unresolved trauma are not exempt from this either.
Instead of being overly self-critical of the symptoms you could be experiencing due to your past, try to recognize that these are simply signs that your nervous system did the best it could to protect you from trauma and continue protecting you from perceived threat.
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, reach out. Whether through Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, or mind-body integration, there’s a way forward that meets you exactly where you are.
Frequently Asked Questions About Unresolved Trauma
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Subtle signs include overreacting to minor issues, zoning out or dissociating, chronic tension or pain without a clear cause, and harsh self-criticism. These symptoms often go unnoticed but can indicate that the nervous system is stuck in a trauma response.
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Yes. Trauma often manifests as physical symptoms such as headaches, jaw tension, stomach issues, or chronic pain. These are signs that the body is still reacting to unresolved stress.
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Dissociation is a common trauma response where a person mentally disconnects to protect themselves from overwhelming emotions. It can show up as zoning out, brain fog, or emotional numbness.
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Somatic therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and body-focused approaches help process trauma and rewire the nervous system’s response to perceived danger.
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Yes. With proper support, unresolved trauma can be treated and healed. The key is recognizing the signs and seeking trauma-informed therapy to address them holistically.
Stevie Olson-Spiegel is a Licensed Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner located in Kansas City. She uses Somatic Experiencing as her main body-based trauma healing modality, as well as EMDR. As an Intuitive Eating Counselor, she uses these principles to help her clients challenge their relationship with their cultural misconceptions about their body and food.
